I Have Love

I used to believe that I was forced into acting a a certain way in efforts to survive, become and be.

Indeed, even this space, Healmonics in its beginnings became a testament of me attempting to form myself around what I thought to be 'professional'.

However,  the more I explore the workings of life, the more I realize that authenticity and love are needed more than ever in the work environment and indeed, all environments.

The stale, formulated environments do not appeal to me.

While emotions are best simmered, removed from their raw states, I believe they are part of the process of showing authenticity in all environments.

In this all, I believe we crave love, affection and feeling something more than the glowing screens we search for answers upon.

I needed love and I came here to ask for it knowing that my life force is directly connected to all those, especially those that hold me in the title of friend.

I have received.

In gratitude I thank those that sent their prayers to me.  

I realize there is a real power in being vulnerable, stepping out of the closet and allowing yourself to rely on others.   This has been the most powerful lesson of this year and I imagine it to only continue to be learned.

In this all I am still developing theories, spiritual practices to unlock the passages of life.

In doing so I begin to realize we cannot simply follow a leader, a guru or sage.  We must find and become our own leader, guru and sage.

This is the Age of Aquarius's call - to become the leaders among leaders.

In finding this leadership role, I have bowed down to the most humble holding a basket for food donations recently.

I was given money, but refused it, saying I only desired food.

The man that did give me food was not much better off financially than myself.  He told me he gave me the food because I was asking only for food, not money.

This theme of the common man helping the common man was also given when hitchhiking from Bishop, California to Portland, Oregon in February.

I was picked up by mostly run down vehicles with humble drivers who had hitch hiked in the past or had family members hitch hike.

I was blessed to be picked up in an average of 3 hours at each stop.

It was the poor, the meek that picked me up.

So why do we crave riches, prosperity and these pipe dreams of worldly wealth when the wealth of gratitude, awareness and sacrifice isn't in money?

Perhaps, because we wish to please our bodies and not our souls.

While I may be poor in the world, I have riches abounding as a soul of the Divine.  I now know Matthew 5:5, a testament to my heart:
"Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."

 It was when I became submissive to love in all of my struggles that I found love.  It was when I admitted I was in need of help that I found help.   How often have I rejected gifts given to me, only to realize in hindsight that those were the blessings of others - the giver and receiver sharing in a symbiotic connection of love.

I have begun a new journey and it will continue to take me and make me open to greater treasures than I have ever known.

The forest journey, one that took me 9 months in 2016 is on its way to an ending and beginning is a new journey with new formations of self discovery driven by the stirrings of love.

I don't ever wish to forget the forest, nor those that helped me on my journey over this last stretch friends, lovers afar, you are known.





Its time shine with what I have shown, growing from all those shared moments of laughter, tears and stress on the road recently revising some of my works including the Symbols of the Universe.





I have love because I give love and it is in my hope to continue to make manifest all love, in all of its forms.

“Sometimes you give more love, sometimes you need more love. Be with the person you can balance with.”― Elizabeth Bourgeret
in the acts of balance, life & love,

zs.