theabsurdity of self, other, collective realization has taken me on far different paths beyond all the daze that have been consumed on impressing others pushing pixels in attempt to make sense of the madness, to even, possibly heal something.
This blog started as a spiritual healing journey with Age of Aquarius Network AOAN.ORG (which now redirects to a reddit community), blossoming into some other varieties before becoming Healmonics.
There is no great speech to be had. I gave plenty of those in the 350+ others posts.
Seek them at will.
I am needed elsewhere. This is the end of this blog. It will still be here for archival purposes at http://healmonics.blogspot.com/ , but not updated.
There is a bird which frequents a stop into my camp site, gentle small and curious. They hop in through the entrance, gleefully chirping and picking up any scraps to be found from the droppings of cereal that the mice haven't taken for their own.
This bird amazed me when it first hopped in and continues to treat me with it's kind curiosities from time to time in my reflections at the most welcomed times.
It is these small moments, the moments with the birds that bring about a sense that there is far more to the workings of life, living, becoming, being than a single mind could ever conceive upon in it's wildest wonders.
Had you told me years before now my journey, my destination to this point, I don't know if I could accept the lot of it all. It seems so simple, yet immense in it's understanding. Inner, outer, all. Beautiful.
Little birds.
I have learned to trust the little birds, to stop fearing the unknown shadows that are cast, to fly free, at last, knowing that whatever comes is meant to enliven a soul that yearns to learn, to grow, to become.
I rejoice in my health, most of all, finding that I have been able to overcome so much more when I let go of what was expected of me and instead made the expectation my own to own and redeem.
Climbing the hill to go home in the reaches of Forest Park has at times been trying, but also given me an amazing healthy body to rejoice in. In my flights recently on the bicycle, I recently did over 100 miles this last week, with a total of 1,200 miles since March 18th of this year on the biketown bikes largely to explore new places in the reaches the greater Portland area including Powell Butte and Sauvie Island.
As I am in wonder of all these things, a gratitude overcomes me for this moment, this time, this point in my life.
Indeed, there is much uncertainty, more chaos in the world than I have ever known.
Yet, as I follow the lead of the little bird, flying, flowing freely upon this journey and finding I am not alone in this, no matter how little in comparison to the vastness of it all.
The bicycle helps me realize this and has become my wings to explore self, others and the flow of it all.
When all the songs have been sang, sung, done;
When all that was, is and has been;
All that remains is love. All you need is love.
To become, to be as you are was a manifestation
of love - for no matter where you are right now, it was an act of love that brought you forth to be at this place, this space, this point in the journey.
sorrow, noun 1. an unspoken intensity of feeling. 2. a spark of transcendence that punctuates the flatlining banality of everyday life. 3. a healthy kind of ache—like the ache in your muscles after hard exercise—that reminds you that your body exists.
So,
I think most people instinctively think of a spectrum of good or bad
emotions, like a spectrum from blue to red. But I think there’s another
axis that’s more important: blankness to intensity. At one end is
depression, in which everything feels dead, even the big things. At the
other end is wonder, in which everything feels alive, even the little
things. As a bit of trivia, the word sad originally meant “full, sated.” Which means satisfaction and sadness are cousins, both etymologically and emotionally. - dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com
I have never enjoyed the question, "Are you happy?" , "Are you okay?" as though finding some tension-less state will bring about the desired function. Indeed, I have seen far too many people okay, far too often, comfortable in meritocracy, the meager demeanor of simply being, without truly being.
I struggle for the words that can connect together what I feel right now. I have gone through so many shifts of perception, pains and loss it's difficult to form the words that express exactly how I feel.
The truth is I am in a lot of transition pain right now.
I found standard work again after being away from it and in that finding there have been many tears drawn. I am left wondering how people can do this, this work, for a lifetime.
There is not a single regret of all the time I spent exploring the world without work. Now I have found it again, I question it, wonder what is it's use?
So many items that people see as necessary, I do not. I am not sure what to do with the money from this thing called work.
Yet, I continue.
Perhaps, not because of the money, but the struggle.
That there is something greater to be found that cents and dollars here?
I am not sure. It is an intensity that is difficult to define.
I know I am not okay. The tears will testify of that. But, perhaps that is greater than the okay?
I seek meaning in this all, that is the greatest hope. Not so much to be okay, but rather, to know why and how.
I want to be interested, drawn, depending on something greater than more change, more than O.K.
I will press this life and squeeze it again to see what doors next shall open. I will face my fears and name them accordingly.
This is where I give the introduction, an induction to that inward projection of that eye, outer, inner, that singular I, which allows me to open my doorways of perception to that hue of you which is you cast from the same source of light that is life that breathes life into both of us.
In reflection.
Someday, when the doors of perception are cleansed and consciousness knows not the boundaries of the womb, nor the quiver of the flesh; we shall, as once perceive the suffering that is mine and I, yours and you, and in this knowledge we shall share in the wisdom of suffering overcome, not individually, but collectively as a single unit of life in the body of the Beloved.
In that space how true the testament of love shall be given when we truly alive and living beyond our bodies boundaries can utter in quiet hushed words reflecting on the pains, sorrows, joys, happiness and all states in between, "I understand."
To understand the authorship of a past, the narration of a present and the projection of a future as one, infinite and eternal round with the purpose to understand Divine Love.
In that Divine Love, life becoming the dream passing in the wake where the judgment for a life lived comes not from without, but within understanding the condition of lessons learned, a life lived and a realization of all living life, light.
What shall be said when you find the wake that passes you from one body to the next?
z.
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But the key is to understand that I am not alone in this burning - life is chaos and in that chaos we all get burnt, we all have to sacrifice to discover not what we desire, but what our soul desired purpose is to become.
In all this pain, suffering, it is my hope that in some way it has unlocked some of that conundrum of the complex lives that have touched upon mine.
That my suffering has meaning to the soul of others, and yours to mine.
“What is to give light must endure burning.” ―
Viktor E. Frankl,
Man's Search for Meaning
Most of all, this journey has taught me when I have been pulled taut to simply let go and let the Divine, the Beloved Om reverberate that song which finds peace in the middle of the chaos.
I am shifting down after conquering 730 mile hitch-hiking journey, year long forest life, white tantra spirituality shift, break ups with significant others, state, faith, family and a last name change.
I too, have also felt, as many of you have, the global and universal pulse of frustrations on so many levels.
I too, have spent countless moments wondering what I can do in the wake of the chaotic upheaval.
It leads me to ask that question that presses upon as a cool wind in a starless night - "Who Are You?" ..and in knowing who you are, "What Shall Be Done?" ..and to, in turn answer it by holding space, as there are no simple answers to be had right now.
I yearn for the healing heart of the fourth chakra, the Christ
Consciousness and Sacred Feminine to bring me to life anew in the womb
of awakening.
I desire in this, to give rise to others lives, too as inspirations from light found.
Underneath the flesh lies the truth: A cosmic astrological compilation of the unified sacred feminine and sacred masculine trying to match the inner world with the outer world.
In discovering this balance the rise of feminism, environmentalism and other isms have taken hold to attempt to answer that balance. However, these alone, are not enough to satisfy the balance of the Sacred Androgyny, an union between the Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine.
For to replace a patriarchal order with a matriarchal order only presents itself as a new imbalance and disorder of misplaced power.
As such, I do not consider myself a feminist, or any sense of any ist or ism. For ists and isms are often the containers of ideologies that only shine their light and darkness on a small faction, shadows of the solution.
What we are seeing today is the last cry of the patriarchal order gone out of control, a phallic in decline and out of balance in relation to the matriarch which demands that safe spaces, love and respect for life be given.
I no doubt we will swing, rather soon, to a matriarchal order. The question is, in this shift do we merely mimic that patriarchal power struggle or, perhaps, break apart these two archs and from their ruin find the unification in the egalitarian?
Consider an egalitarian system based on the Sacred Androgyny where the Sacred Feminine and Sacred Feminine unite:
• Instead of immediately naming babies, allowing them to find their own name.
• Instead of taking on a last name of another in marriage, both people create a new name.
• Instead of assuming the flesh connection, considering as mentioned, the astrological connection.
• Instead of claiming one gender better than another, allowing both genders to display their greatest strengths - beyond the flesh.
• Beginning a cultural flush that values as Martin Luther King Jr. spoke, "by the content of their character."
The pendulum has already begun swinging and I no doubt in my lifetime soon I will see greatly, without question, the complete shift from the patriarchal order to the matriarchal order.
It is my hope it doesn't remain there, that we are to challenge ourselves to find that space in the yin-yang as the ultimate desire - the wu-ji, the Sacred Androgyny, where the female spirit unites with the male spirit and they become one.
Now, it is not expected for each single person to represent this androgyny, to do so would be to formulate another ists or ism that casts shadows, but doesn't create the greater light needed to solve the problem.
Rather, by focusing on the unification of the Sacred Union, we will rise from the ashes and embrace, each in our own ways, a dialogue that brings growth beyond measure.
Whatever your sacred life chant may be, I hope it brings the Divine Love that is sought in the deepest heart of hearts that we all share.
If I am to adorn a badge, title, or position of permanent fixity to the
character that is "I", it is my hope that it be 'light', that source
which we all illuminate when given life.
That life, my light: my
own being, touching and being touched by others largely in the
unthinkable, unspoken, hushed vast tones that stirs, mixes, meshes all
gradients of all into an interwoven tapestry.
of one.
In
this share of light in the tapestry of interwoven purposes there is no
desire to change the will of another, rather, there is a pressing
desire to open passages, doorways of perception, to bring about the
dharma wheel of invitation on its own free will turning to enter into
any of those infinite passages, not only the ones I claim for personal
enlightenment.
For me to claim any of the spiritual stirrings
and journeys in my own enlightenment as the only way to find light is an
egos entitlement, not the free willed souls enlightenment that is so
greatly sought.
Your path is your own to own - as is mine to
mine, and all paths in all facets in the sands of time. Let no one
take from you, me, us, this free willed pursuit towards bliss discovering the ultimate price that comes from pursuing the labors of love.
My
open doors, a sliver of light awakened in the seat of the souls eyes,
this impossible possibility, this is the purpose in my life: To
illuminate possibilities in the body, heart and mind individually and
collectively.
This is my Labor of Love, for which I have become before you in all of my explorations.
Yet,
even with this great purpose, this labor found from mountains climbed,
valleys transverse, I will be the first to claim I know a single drop
in the ocean of consciousness.
"Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.”
- Anthon St. Maarten
Fate is the painting from that which already is, was and has been done; a body, heart, mind where past present and future are one unto themselves, neither created nor destroyed, simply being fate.
Destiny is the the paint brush to give life to that body-reach, love to that heart-beat and wisdom to the mind-think; not changing the destination, but rather giving it meaning, purpose and place as it courses through the veins of the universal consciousness of collective and self realization.
As we allow ourselves the free ability of free flow recognizing the mastership of the craft of consciousness we go through the colors of life embracing something that stretches beyond the canvas that held us with our predestination challenging the definition of the Divine themselves.
It is then, in this unspoken place, where the worlds end and spill off into space that we, in hushed tones and elated screams, we wake up from the dreams as being floating in a space where we find union with the infinite body, the beloved heart and the expanded mind.
In that timeless time to realize all pains, sufferings, joys, bliss, whispers, screams, faith, beliefs as one place, purpose, peace, to help us understand that which is without time, constraint, walls, rules, principles, regulations, authority or lines to confine that which is
"Tantra is a wild mother tiger - if you approach her with right motivation, right
intention, and integrity, she'll suckle you at her breast; but if you
come to her in a sloppy way, she'll rip apart your body-mind, eat you
for dinner, and shit out what's left." - Prem Pranama
I have become ripped apart in my spiritual explorations, scattered like puzzle pieces
tossed to and fro as I have experienced some of the most intense, painful and
revealing emotions that have torn at my inner core in tears drawn from places deep
within. [I am grateful.]
I am grateful because the pain has shown me purpose and taught me the serious nature
of following your own path towards spiritual realization.
All tears split, anger given has built me to understand the depths of myself and
the world that surrounds me.
Never feeling content in the structures of a single established religion, the way
of the Tantra continues to teach me a spirituality that holds no limits & knows no
bounds.
Recently, I decided to let go of much of my White Tantra practice on the outside,
greatly internalizing it and seeking color.
As I have explored this new journey, greatly of abandonment of a rigid set
dual system (white and black) I came across an article that brought a humble
realization, an interview with Tantric Master Prem Pranama.
The interview in it's entirety is astounding, a great understanding of tantra
beyond the limited understanding that it has been given reaching deep into
the spectrum of possibility, giving reason to those colors which I had sought
"Light broken open by a prism displays the colors that are always its nature. Its essence is clear light and its nature is to manifest as the colors of the rainbow. Pure awareness is completely transparent like a sheet of glass. But when broken open, it displays the rainbow of colors or flavors that are the substance of manifestation. Pure awareness and the colors of Being are not in opposition or even in anyway two. They are aspects of singleness. So many spiritual paths inherently, though often subtly, negate world, body, and existence. They are always seeking to get elsewhere into the "light"failing to recognize that all is light. Spiritual systems often misinterpret bondage as resulting from being in form rather than from wrong view. Because of this, they wrongly assume that enlightenment means to be abstracted out of form into subtle realms or "pure" awareness. These spiritual systems try tone gate form and dissolve, or return, into the pre-form matrix of pure potentiality. This is possible and that radical act of transcending form is most blissful - but it is not enlightenment. Form and formless are not two; they are a single mystery. These systems are spiritualized forms of the dualistic delusion. Tantra, which in its true form is Advaitic (or non-dual), transcends this limitation. Tantra is wisdom gone wild embracing the totality of whatis.With Tantra you are not getting somewhere; you are just waking upto the true nature of things as they are. The colors inherent in clear light are not other than the light. The display whereby Being presents its limitless mystery is not other than the birthless and deathless pure mystery from which Being comes.." - Prem Pranama
The triangle prism, a representation of our being, male, female pointing to the great mystery
of the infinite.
The white light coming, only to be seen on a background of black, trials and tribulation, growth
and understanding.
The light exiting in vibrant brilliant colors, again, seen clearly in the contrast to the black backing.
All colors necessary, all having a place, purpose.
-
I am humbled, I bow before that which has given me this chance to become, to be, to find the healing, the growth on my own spiritual path.
I know nothing and in that nothingness, everything is illuminated, known and wise; holding a place, purpose and function.
What if? Ever take a spin on the multi-verse imaging what could have been and might be if the path taken was different than the one chosen? To suppose that perhaps another life was meant, that you were sent to take upon?
Perhaps, a longing to be someone else, an admiration of a finger print that never was but might be..
..rather than what is and has become.
When I think about this in it's enormity, this wave consumes me and I simply, must just let go to sublimation knowing that the makers heart holds me in all conditions.
Indeed, the more fears I face, the more darkness I stand against I find myself burning brighter, stronger with more conviction to overcome, to become, to be.
Not only have I seen this in myself, but in all the walking manifestations of life before me.
It's good to lose control, let go and let life live unfolding life like a map with no particular destination, only a proclamation of infinite explorations.
& in these explorations, wherever they take... in all of this...
in all this, I am grateful.
Jesus Christ is a title, more than a name, a single being. It's meaning is "the anointed one".
Within every being is the ability to resurrect themselves to a state of redemption,
to take upon the title and become anointed, to walk as the Jesus Christ.
The power to do so is not in a creed, a religious structure or box template but beating in your chest, giving rest to that breath, breathing life.
Buddha is also a title, more than a name, a single being. It's meaning is "awakened one".
Within every being is the ability to wake from the sleep of suffering,
to take upon the title and become alive, anew, to walk as the Buddha.
The power to do so is not in a creed, a religious structure or box template but beating in your chest, giving rest to that breath, breathing life.
You are Divine, a frequency of a collective consciousness giving rise to all rays of light, darkness and the beautiful brilliant sunsets of an eternal state.
Do you realize the power of this? Of you? Of those around you?
Your heart will set you free, if you allow it.
Nothing you give from the heart will ever be taken, only added to the calculation of a life lived and learned.
It's time to resurrect realization.
We are the Jesus Christ - We are the Buddha.
"I belong to the beloved,........................
have seen the two ............................. worlds as one and.............................. that one........................................... ..............................call to and know, first, last, outer, inner, ..............................only that breath breathing human being." - rumi
Have you realized your Divinity in all of its glorious colors and variations?
Have you redeemed your heart to discover once again the purpose of your soul?
What are you resurrecting?
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When you are exposed to a last namesake for so long, that
namesakes lasting multi-generational epigenetics of stored traumas
become your life and reality.
At a young age, not knowing better, you excuse the trauma and normalize their place in your life.
I am no longer at that young and idealistic age that is able to excuse the unspoken but real traumas of my last namesake.
I know there are generations of abuse physical, sexual and
mental in the last namesake I was born into, a cave that continues to
draw dark shadows that create victim mentalities.
I no longer wish to draw my fears from the cave from which I was born.
Those shadows of abuse shall lose their power, eventually
finding death to the light of hope, my name as it is called and shall
be called:
Zed Sonder
-
What name do you carry?
Do you accept the light and dark of that name?
What name shall you be made known?
..and that draws near to that question which presses upon the brightest and darkest of moments:
Who are you?
-
As for me and my healing journey as Zed Sonder, it is a
renewed one which recognizes the interconnected nature of all living
life and respects it through the body, heart and mind.
There are still many shadows to cast away, projections of
light to trace back to the source but today, those shadows just lessened
a little more.
I suppose we can suppose there are chapters to every life lived and given, some more subtle than others.
Me? I'd like to deem I burst open new pages with an urgency to seek out what is beneath.
As such, I am drawing my White Tantra Kundalini practice of years inward from clothing worn outward and breathing colors into my life after 4 years of doing very extensive spiritual journeying starting with the Age of Aquarius and landing here, a voyage with hundreds of postings.
Life has taught me spirituality is a vine of many varied paths and I am hoping to ground down simply enjoying life exploring and conquering fears as needed.
I am waiting to see what this all means - it's very new to me to not wear all white, to cover my head and not draw extensively into a meditative mind.
I'd like to see what colors beyond the black and white there are to experience and express.
No doubt, I have explored both worlds quite extensively - the black tantra energy journey in my youth, the white tantra energy journey in my current.
Now, I just want to add colors, places that seem exotic to me reaching beyond what can be right and what can be wrong, to simply being.
I have a new song to be written, a new journey to be taken. I now will wait for life to let me know where it is I am to go....
More stations, deviations, contemplations that have no conclusive end
So I walk back to see if there ever was a begin
To see if anything was ever plugged in
Benign it feels strained, pained, drained to the dripping drop
What was the reality of everything I was taught?
Who am I?
What is this?
What is needed to grow?
Which way shall this flow?
I smash the radio cause the stations don't seem to conclude
The words, they elude.
Words, words, words.
Words are finite vines versed and designed to come to an end in fables and myths.
You me, us, we, are an Infinite Divine.
Then what shall we do, take from all these vines that wrap me and you?
Perhaps, perchance, the infinite eternal illuminated fruits that value each vine?
This is a story.
All is a story.
This is a story.
All is a story.
Factful fiction more than words written, spoken verses given, there is still a hope that there is a condition for the individual to realize third eyes, unspoken truths, unwritten words, illumination.
Keys dangle just out of reach. They are for those who have become taut to teach.
Salivate at salvation, Pavlov's dog in damnation, I know no master but the one within.
Condition critical, blood shot eyes, days cascade into nights.
My heaven hell, yin/yang it all comes back to the place that it is all the same.
This is a story.
All is a story.
We are all travelers here headed to the same place -
In these travels may love be the value, face to learned from the free wheel of infinite possibilities of the endless story.
infinite beings in finite bodies cry infant wet tears torn to bare that is born worn from visions shattered scattered into the winds dreams deemed tares of what ifs could haves may beens bent around latched door conundrums the key is not the expectation rather the realization that what was what is and will be shall be symbols of the story book ends to to ends begin to begin to give definition to the repeating chorus that challenges to explore us asking once again the same questions answered in each life procession utterances in confession that our bodies are not in our possession but rather a position to condition the meaning in suffering the purpose in pain and the long definition that life lived can only begin to explain.
When I had 'awakened' into this particular plane of perception I was 'dead' for over 133 years since the last awakening, had 'died' in 16 other bodies, (9 male, 7 female) lived in 93 homes, (spanning over 12,000 miles) held innumerable archetypes, (ranging from stay at home mother to civil war liberation fighter) been through 38 religions (saved 13 times) and midway through it all experienced life as a Black Labrador to learn the karmic resolution that is resolved as a dog.
So when I tell you that I am tired - (like most of you having lived two or three times as many lives as me) I was tired.
It only takes so many lives lived before you begin to realize a few things, ticking that make the universal clock talk to the core of your soul in the time lines that you are exploring -
First, and foremost, is that love in all it's infinite forms is the most powerful energy of the universe.
Second, all words, all phrases, utterances, writings, expressions and communications are stories that act as represent ions to understand and discover the values of that infinite love.
Third, until you learn the values of love that your soul desires, you will keep repeating, keep repeating, keep repeating, the same stories in different forms, places, shapes and sizes.
There, of course, are an infinite number of other values that can be learned, but at life 17, I figure I am doing well to focus on holding down 3.
Curious, what values have you learned from your own 'past' lives?
Perhaps, perchance, we can have a tea time, (reminiscent of when I was a Brit in my 12th life musing in that cottage that sat next to that winding road - that however, is a story for another life time.) and discuss the matter, merging our perceptions of what is and isn't - the dreams of yesterdays to the presence tense teaching taut of now?
Perhaps.
No time?
Ah, you still must be taken by the illusion of time, too.
Blasphemy, indeed.
If I could just break your watch... Which brings me to that tired, turning universal clock, ticking tock imagined that has held so very many of my paths of 'past', 'present' and 'future' lives that tried me true to become tired.
"What," might you ask, if you were to desire to ask a question, (and had we had the time for the tea) "makes these lives so tiring?"
To answer your presumed question, I'd answer, "We have and continue to forget our Divine Love."
I, being no exception, cast among the seeing am included in the discourse of this 'we.' For you see, I am a light in a body, no more, and that light functions from the same projected source. (The flesh, the bones are mere astronauts suits to carry forth the light.)
I await not a personal awakening into a single body, this frame, but rather seek out most earnestly when all frequencies of consciousness will be able to find the opening into that higher consciousness.
For what joy is joy, the bliss of the heavens of being if experienced by only the few select in the body of the universe?
So, here I am with a bundle of hope, with faith that somehow, someway we will begin, all of us begin to be a little better about that idea called love.
Cause we are collectively creating this space, each lending a little bit more to that narrative and if I could just tell you, implore you to wake up to your past lives, future selves in the presence of mind, perhaps we can unwind this conundrum contraption that seems to be for many a trap, life.
I'm hoping this life that I just don't get it, but we all start to get it this 'time.'
I'm having faith that the next awakening of perception on another plane will be manifest to that heaven that so many longingly dream of, out of reach, just out of sight; yet before you present right now if you allow that love to become, to be.
You see, you are a seed of Divinity, you and me. Made from the manifest of love to become, be, Divine.
It's time we take back our Dharma, the karma of that love and face the fears that have founded our degradation for so very long.
I share my little light, you share your little light and in doing so we illuminate the night as stars cast the shadows depth.
Me? I'm done with life to death. I'm ready for a resurrection from lesser states, fates that have compounded the complications far too much.
I desire a mind like steel, a heart full and a body that explores the very reaches of all that is, was and shall be.
It's only life to life for me now.
Should I fall to the ground, cease that breath, realize it's just an illusion in all this confusion.
Consciousness, like energy neither created nor destroyed.
You always were, always will be.
Earth to Water.
Water to Fire.
Fire to Ash.
Ash to Air.
Life to life.
Love for love.
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Nature is spoken of.
Nurture is spoken of.
Racism is spoken of.
Sexism is spoken of.
Are you aware of the Ures and Ism's that are unspoken, responsible for all the disharmony in our lives, the root of all of our problems, but are not often addressed?
I am speaking of culture and classism, or cultural classism.
Culture classism, throughout humanities history is what has resulted in the imbalance in the universal order causing needless pain that has resulted in great suffering throughout all time.
It is the roots of Satan, or the uncontrolled ego at large, an illusion that masters you if you do not learn to master it.
Anytime a mind believes it to worth more than another is culture classism.
How do we end cultural classism?
By realizing the roots of it.
First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. ― Martin Niemöller
Fascist Germany and the Nazi parties were lead by Adolph Hitler, but Adolph Hitler by himself was a single man with a loud voice and a horrific agenda.
It was those who began to believe that voice that persuaded them they were better than others that resulted in millions needlessly brought to death.
When we give our power, our authority for others to act on our behalf we are responsible for the actions of that power and authority.
It is only through the beginnings of self governed leadership as promised in the Age of Aquarius that we will begin to be able to break free from the constraints of that ego, Satan.
Some would look to destroy Satan, the ego, only to create more egos from the destruction.
No, we can only conquer the darkness, the ego by owning our own light, thereby becoming masters of the ego.
If we do not learn from the sufferings of the past, allowing light to shine, we shall, as a body of humanity, have to repeat them again until we learn these lessons.
Die Welle (English: The Wave) is a fiction film based on an a actual experiment conducted in the United States called the Third Wave Experiment.
It greatly illustrates the need for education towards the irradiation of cultural classism.
The Third Wave Experiment took place at Cubberley High School in Palo Alto, California, during the first week of April 1967 by the school's history teacher Ron Jones.
From the wikipedia article:
"Over the course of five days, Jones conducted a series of exercises in his classroom emphasizing discipline and community, intended to model certain characteristics of the Nazi movement. As the movement grew outside his class and began to number in the hundreds, Jones began to feel that the movement had spiraled out of control. He convinced the students to attend a rally where he claimed the announcement of a Third Wave presidential candidate would be televised. Upon their arrival, the students were presented with a blank channel. Jones told his students of the true nature of the movement as an experiment in fascism, and presented to them a short film discussing the actions of Nazi Germany."
The Wave - the 1981 version and modern 2008 films are essential education towards living life beyond the disharmony of 'us and them' bring forth the very core need for every individual to become leaders unto themselves and only follow those whose fruits are the fruits of the spirit.
"...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." ― Galatians 5:22-23
What are you doing to take ownership of your self and not allow others to take your power?
The disillusionment of modern culture is that single individuals have no power nor authority. This is a lie and it needs to be recognized as such.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens
can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”― Margaret Mead
All life is sacred, made known, no matter how vast or quaint.
In this sacred life, realize fascist regimes and cultural classes will eventually fall to become ash to the fire.
The number two most bought fiction book in Portland, Oregon at Powell's Books currently is 1984.
What are you doing to make 2017 to be less like 1984? What act are you celebrating in your dharma to change the way things are? What tanks are you taking on?
You matter.
Every act that you act upon, every thought that you control shapes the universe that you hold and we share jointly.
Realize that your Divine Love conquers cultural classism and the holds bound Satan, the ego that looks to take away, uncontrolled, the very core of our life: free will.
Your heart the size of a fist will call this free will and let others escape to give witness to it, too.
Alone and together we will conquer, become and be.
Won't you come conquer with me and find your true divine identity?
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What is the story of you? Are you the protagonist or the antagonist? Perhaps a little of both, a mixed match of a little of this or that?
Me? I'm a multi-faceted explorer in body akin to an astronauts space suite made of flesh and bone. My story, like yours is unique, a life only worthy to be led by I, alone with a supporting cast of characters, family, friends and strangers in passing; leading their own story worthy to be told.
In these stories of life we have the ability to play an infinite number of roles, archetypes in every condition, circumstance and situation.
The role doesn't fit? Now promises you that you have to ability to change it. Not any other time than now promises this gift, the present.
As we become authors of the past, narrators of the present and projectors of our future, time that was finite becomes infinite.
In this narrative we become free of time, moving our narrations from tickings of a clock towards the values that all moment from this moment offer.
"Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist,
Keep on loving. Keep on fighting.
And hold on, hold on,
Hold on for your life." - Ramshackle Glory
Lyrics: Dalia never showed me nothing but kindness She would say: “I know how sad you get." And some days, I still get that way But it gets better It gets better It gets better Sweetie, it gets better, I promise you And she'd tell me
Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist Keep on loving. Keep on fighting And hold on, hold on Hold on for your life
Ian built a cabin in the woods to live in For years, terrifying noises kept him up at night With a twelve gauge under his pillow He’s living in Boston now, going to art school I forgive him I forgive him Hell, I’ll admit it: I’m proud of him
Serena’s an architect and a carpenter She’s such a feminist she says she isn’t one Because 'Goddamn, my gender shouldn’t matter!' And her motorcycle glides through the streets of Providence Down to the warehouse district The paint job is as stunning as Her knowledge of medieval building techniques
Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist Keep on loving. Keep on fighting And hold on, and hold on Hold on for your life
This one goes out to Georgios, he knows how to dance Abby Banks, your book is beautiful And fuck anyone who says otherwise Scott, I love you and you make me glad to be alive I promise that I’m gonna pay you back You always know how funny everything is Even when I’m so serious that it’s gonna be the death of me
Like the time that our friend Chuck came over to our house He said he needed somebody to take care of his pets Cause he was going out of town I asked him “Where?” and he said “New Mexico.” I asked if I could get a ride He said: “No, you don’t want to follow me Where it is I’m going.” He pulled out of the drive way That was the last time we saw him Cause he drove straight to his parent’s cabin And put a bullet in his head
Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist Keep on loving. Keep on fighting And hold on, and hold on Hold on for your life
Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist Keep on loving. Keep on fighting And hold on, and hold on Hold on for your life
I used to believe that I was forced into acting a a certain way in efforts to survive, become and be.
Indeed, even this space, Healmonics in its beginnings became a testament of me attempting to form myself around what I thought to be 'professional'.
However, the more I explore the workings of life, the more I realize that authenticity and love are needed more than ever in the work environment and indeed, all environments.
The stale, formulated environments do not appeal to me.
While emotions are best simmered, removed from their raw states, I believe they are part of the process of showing authenticity in all environments.
In this all, I believe we crave love, affection and feeling something more than the glowing screens we search for answers upon.
I needed love and I came here to ask for it knowing that my life force is directly connected to all those, especially those that hold me in the title of friend.
I have received.
In gratitude I thank those that sent their prayers to me.
I realize there is a real power in being vulnerable, stepping out of the closet and allowing yourself to rely on others. This has been the most powerful lesson of this year and I imagine it to only continue to be learned.
In this all I am still developing theories, spiritual practices to unlock the passages of life.
In doing so I begin to realize we cannot simply follow a leader, a guru or sage. We must find and become our own leader, guru and sage.
This is the Age of Aquarius's call - to become the leaders among leaders.
In finding this leadership role, I have bowed down to the most humble holding a basket for food donations recently.
I was given money, but refused it, saying I only desired food.
The man that did give me food was not much better off financially than myself. He told me he gave me the food because I was asking only for food, not money.
This theme of the common man helping the common man was also given when hitchhiking from Bishop, California to Portland, Oregon in February.
I was picked up by mostly run down vehicles with humble drivers who had hitch hiked in the past or had family members hitch hike.
I was blessed to be picked up in an average of 3 hours at each stop.
It was the poor, the meek that picked me up.
So why do we crave riches, prosperity and these pipe dreams of worldly wealth when the wealth of gratitude, awareness and sacrifice isn't in money?
Perhaps, because we wish to please our bodies and not our souls.
While I may be poor in the world, I have riches abounding as a soul of the Divine. I now know Matthew 5:5, a testament to my heart: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."
It was when I became submissive to love in all of my struggles that I found love. It was when I admitted I was in need of help that I found help. How often have I rejected gifts given to me, only to realize in hindsight that those were the blessings of others - the giver and receiver sharing in a symbiotic connection of love.
I have begun a new journey and it will continue to take me and make me open to greater treasures than I have ever known.
The forest journey, one that took me 9 months in 2016 is on its way to an ending and beginning is a new journey with new formations of self discovery driven by the stirrings of love.
I don't ever wish to forget the forest, nor those that helped me on my journey over this last stretch friends, lovers afar, you are known.
Its time shine with what I have shown, growing from all those shared moments of laughter, tears and stress on the road recently revising some of my works including the Symbols of the Universe.
I have love because I give love and it is in my hope to continue to make manifest all love, in all of its forms.
“Sometimes you give more love, sometimes you need more love. Be with the person you can balance with.”― Elizabeth Bourgeret
in the acts of balance, life & love,
I AM asking those that read this to send their warming thoughts, meditative hearts, fasts, candle lighting and prayers towards the next deliverance in my journey wherever that journey may take me.
TO ALLOW fear to pass through my being that love may fill the void that fear once had held.
IF 2017 has taught me anything it is that deliverance happens for all of my circumstances by the larger body of living life drawn by the stirrings of the Beloved.
IN SIMMERING my emotional state after being challenged in my forest home, crying many tears I came to the resolution that it shall be gratitude, awareness and sacrifice that will deliver me from all the pains of any circumstance.
ENGAGING IN self pity, anguish, hatred and victimized thinking will only further entrench me in greater pains.
I COULD lament on the trials I face, the challenges that have
been given but I am choosing higher ground, digging deeper within the
dark night of the soul to find the light within.
THE DIVINE is within me and that Divinity, the Beloved, has asked me to sacrifice to know love in wisdom. This circumstance, along with all circumstances that have created me to this point have all been towards the discovery of that love, that light, that life.
MY LIFE is no more mine than yours - we share separate vessels to transport us all to the same place, that love that gave us breath, life as a traveler headed to the same place back into the arms of that love.
MY STORY is yours. I was given to this world to learn, grow, become and be with challenges that granted me that opportunity. Though our challenges may vary, the purpose is the same to bring us back to that love that gave us all life.
WILL YOU pray with me?
I'M VULNERABLE Beloved. I have given my heart, my soul, my purpose before these, my friends and family of the Universal Life asking that you do your will for me to overcome whatever fears hold me from attaining the dharma life force that is my purpose in this plane of existence.
I ASK YOU to dry my tears as I bow myself before your feet.
TO CALL UPON forces greater than words can afford, stirrings from a heart that has been broken many times and made strong as a fist to your Divinity.
GRANT ME GURU of all living love that I might find my peace in the Son that has granted sacrifice to draw us back your light, living life.
MAY I BE appeased with forces of love, only taking from you Mother Earth what is needed and giving my soul to Father Heaven.
PREPARE ME that I may testify of St. Francis's prayer:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.
MAY THAT REALIZATION of Love, Divine Love, carry me forward in Hope, by Faith for Love.
